We had a deadline to meet. Spouse was moving interstate to start the new job in April. We had to have the interior painting of the house near completion by then. We had two weeks and yes, we were painting the place ourselves. Why wouldn’t we? We love painting. Right? Don’t we? Well, yes … when we’re able to function.
Maybe it’s caused by … Or perhaps it’s to do with … It’s probably because of … We eat healthily, we exercise regularly, we rarely drink alcohol, we are non-caffeine drinkers, we are non-smokers, we live in the country with an abundance of fresh air … what could be causing the VM?
Because straws were being clutched, one had assumed the vestibular migraines were triggered by hormone fluctuations as there had been synchronicities with cycle / migraine / hormones previously. So, after discussions with a doctor of the female variety, thought to try hormone replacement therapy. This would definitely fix one! Ah no. (It may have worked if one had bothered to read the back of the packet for the correct sequence in which to take the pills …)
Feeling completely useless does not sit well with one, particularly when there is work to be done. So, the first step to overcoming the Vestibular Migraine symptoms (also known as episodes): stop hanging on to everything when walking. Yes, the motion sensors (eyes) send repeated ‘danger danger warning warning’ messages to the brain which releases the adrenalin valve and floods the body with panic, but by focussing on one point and walking slowly toward that point, things can be reprogrammed with perseverance.
Step two was to focus on one small task; walking to the bathroom or getting dressed without holding on to anything. These were very small, teeny tiny baby steps but they did move one forward; within hours one had a paint brush in hand and was focussing on cutting in around the lounge-room walls. Day one of dizzy rehab was a success; two hours of doing something constructive with no episode – yay! Day two, three hours, another success. Day three, four hours, and the ladder climbing was not a good idea – who knew? A major episode ensued lasting over thirty hours.
Start again. Baby steps, and no ladders. Rehab and reprogramming were working. By the deadline one had been episode free for five days – success! The painting was almost done. Ladders had been climbed. The drainage had been fixed. The new bathroom was being built. The cure for VM had been found. Spouse could move interstate to start the new job less worried, coming back each fortnight until the house was sold.
One forged ahead, painting the nook, painting the kitchen, painting the new bathroom. No episodes for days. Life was good. Life was grand. All drugs were flushed down the toilet before open home inspections after Easter. One was headed to an annual music festival in Byron Bay with a girlfriend. What could go wrong?
Da da daaaaaaahhhh … Where is the worst place to be when having a VM episode? No, not a hospital. A music festival! And there were four days of it. One was devastated. One thought one had found the cure. One loves music. One had spent some dollars on the ticket and accommodation, and had driven for the first time in months. One spent the next four days having the worst time at the music festival one loved and had been going to for ten years. One was done.
One was assaulted by five mammoth migraines and VM episodes; one after the other. Smash! Crash! Bam! Take that! And that! The complete and exact opposite to a multiple orgasm. Furry Shitzus! Perhaps it was caused by stimuli; noise, light, movement? Maybe it’s from … Or it was because of … Ah, we’re back to that old chestnut. Queue the nausea drugs, the HRT (taken correctly this time) and the rehab / reprogramming. Oh, and days, weeks, months of having the house look pristine at all times – blah, blah, blah – and Spouse in one State and one in another (in both senses of the word ‘state’) – blah, blah, blah-hitty, fuzzy sheet ballasts blah.
July: the house was sold, the garage sale held, the downsizing done, the worldly remains packed, the car filled, the people moved, the episodes like the tides. Though on the plus side, there was a physiotherapy practise specialising in VM close by. Appointments were made and treatment was had. C2 and C3 move over to the left putting pressure on nerves in the spine causing the VM. Yay! An answer! After eight visits, one was VM free … again. Wahoo!
Months passed and things settled. Some freelance work, some exercise, some job hunting, some South African holiday planning, some music producing, some writing, some cooking, and no more drugs. A visit to the physio on the rare occasions episodes reared their insidious heads. Months passed … and then in May, for reasons unbeknown to anyone, it was back.
C2 and C3 were on the move and were not coming back! Physio did not work this time around. Episode and migraine, migraine and episode; days spent in one’s dark and quiet bedroom, getting up only for the bathroom and physio appointments. FRENCH FRIES! FRIED CHICKEN! FRISKY TURTLES! FURRY SHITZUS! FUZZY SHEET BALLASTS!!! It was hell! But never fear – one’s quest for answers had not been extinguished. Hope flickered like a torch with a near-dead battery.
Research! In between battering rams of migraine and episode, one picked up the laptop and went to work. If physio worked initially on C2 and C3, perhaps C1 is misaligned which is pushing those two left? Ah ha! One was on to something. Atlas Orthogonal. Appointments were made and treatment was had. No more migraine! Wah-the-forklift-truck-hoo!
Now, for the episodes. We’ll fix your little red wagon train caboose thingy magiggy! Whilst researching C1 alignment, one came across some information on TMJ (temporomandibular joint) – the jaw bone’s connected to the skull bone, the foot bone’s connected to the ankle bone, let’s hear the word of the … hmmm … – one had been noticing soreness on both sides of one’s jaw, so one thought: dentist.
Appointments were made and treatment was had. Apparently one is a grinder (Well, thank-you. I do like a good dance.). A teeth grinder. (Oh. Um. I still like a good dance.) One had ground one’s teeth down so much one’s bottom teeth were touching the top of one’s top teeth. That is not supposed to happen. Anyone need a human pestle and mortar? So, after two very long appointments, four fillings, bite balancing, teeth whitening and splint (mouth guard) fitting, and the selling of the three children and two kidneys (we’d already sold the house, remember) …
One: ‘Huh?’
Spouse: ‘Definitely in the wrong profession!’
Which brings us to mid-August. The episodes are gone. The migraines are gone. The splint is the miracle cure! Yes, yes, we’ve thought other treatments were the miracle. And one should not get one’s hope up too high. Fast forward to late September and the splint is still staving off episodes. To give the splint (nicknamed Slob) credit; no other treatment would have worked on our South African holiday – with the African massage received on safari, the hours and hours of flying, the various beds and pillows slept on, the rubber necking when sight-seeing.
Slob is a miracle! (Queue bright rays of sunlight and angelic choirs.) Back to applying for jobs …
(Ed note: Vestibular migraine is awful, insidious, vicious and relentless. Being on the receiving end, I can only describe an episode as feeling as though one’s body is going into shock, a sensation sustained for hours and hours on end. It plays havoc with thought processing, attention, memory, functioning. Having it for months on end does impact on mental health: feeling depressed, anxious, stressed and/or helpless. What worked for me may not work for you, but keep searching for relief: it is absolutely worth it.)